These are for YOU
I’m going to be honest, it’s been hard to find the time to write. Lately, it’s been hard to find the time for a lot of things. It’s true that life gets in the way sometimes.
I’m twenty-four, and I struggle to find time for myself, it just seems like there aren’t enough hours in the day. Which is funny, because in high school I can remember my days were JAM PACKED and I managed to fit it all in.
But I’m not in high school. I am living in Halifax, working as a nurse, spending time with my partner and friends, making music, cleaning my house, calling my parents, squeezing in some exercise, recovering from strep throat, and trying to find the time to write.
Sometimes it feels overwhelming. Being an adult… it’s overwhelming. And stressful and exciting and difficult…
So I wanted to make this post for myself and anyone who might be feeling big feelings, who might need a little nudge in the right direction, or to hear that it is all going to be okay- because it is.
This is one of my favourite books, it is called Pillow Thoughts by Courtney Peppernell. It’s a book of poetry, and what is so unique about this book, is that you read the poems that you need to hear. Its index is made so that you turn to the chapter to read the poems that reflect how you might be feeling. If you’re feeling sad, or anxious or heartbroken.. there is a chapter for you. It’s beautiful and I always find comfort in this book’s pages when I need to feel validated.
I wanted to do something similar…
So, this blog post will be organized for you to choose what you need to hear.
Just simply scroll to what it is you’re feeling and I hope that I can in some way validate those feelings and let you know you aren’t alone in them.
These are for you <3
…
If you feel overwhelmed
It’s okay that it is overwhelming. And the fact of the matter is, is that you are not the only person on this planet that is feeling this way. So take a second and give yourself some grace.
We all need to remember these past few years haven’t exactly been easy. Our worlds have shifted, and our way of life has changed. The way we socialize, the way we travel, and the way we think and act has been altered to fit a world we are only just getting familiar with. We went from “normal life” to being stuck at home, wearing masks, zoom calls, government-ordered quarantines, separation, money concerns, and losing our sense of normalcy. Yes, that happened three years ago… but it leaves a mark, it affects everyone, and it might always.
I want to take a second (and maybe when you’re ready, you can take a second too) to see how far you’ve come. You have been through a lot, you’ve worked so hard, you’ve achieved so much and you really are doing well! It’s in moments like these when you need to look back on the little things that bring you joy and appreciate them because they helped get you here.
It’s the sunny afternoon walks, your cup of tea/coffee in the morning, crawling into fresh sheets, or laughing with your friends. Sometimes these moments get covered up by the overwhelming feelings we have. But just take a moment, maybe now, maybe before bed, and look back on the things that brought you joy today.
I’m sorry that you’re feeling overwhelmed, that maybe you feel like life is too much to handle and everything is moving too quickly to catch up. But just remember, you can handle it, you’ve been handling it and you have every tool you need to continue to do so.
So tell yourself you love yourself. Remember we are all just doing the best we can, and take a moment to smile.
It is all going to be okay, I promise.
Listen to me when you feel overwhelmed:
Troubled Mind
by Noah Kahan
If you feel lost
I’ve been there too… I think we all have. I’m sorry that you’re feeling lost, it isn’t an easy feeling to have. Maybe you feel like you’ve lost your sense of self, or sense of direction, or sense of purpose… but whatever the reason, I know it feels scary. Feeling lost can feel isolating, and really hard to talk about. I think, when we feel lost, we feel different, and being different is hard. Sometimes the world has preconceived expectations of us, and sometimes we hold ourselves to those expectations and when we fail to reach them, it can leave us feeling lost.
I remember my first year of university when I felt lost. They never tell you when you graduate high school that the transition into university could be difficult. They say, “ 4 years of high school, 4 years of university… work… family…etc.” So when I nearly dropped out two months into university, I felt lost and out of control. I remember not wanting to tell people how I was feeling because it seemed like no one else would understand.
Feeling lost is like wandering down a path in the woods and all of a sudden you find yourself alone, unaware of how you ended up here.
So, if you’re feeling lost, take a second and breathe.
Lost is a temporary state. You will NOT be lost forever, even if that is what it feels like. Try to view being lost more as taking time and taking space to just “be”. You aren’t lost in the woods- you’re IN the woods, surrounded by trees, fresh air, nature, sunlight… Just “be” in the woods for a moment. When you can ground yourself, it’s easier to find yourself or find whatever is missing.
When you can just “be” you give yourself the courage to let the noise settle and you might find where you are, isn’t so scary.
Just remember, everything happens for a reason (read that again)…and feeling lost might just be the step before the start of something really great. So let yourself be lost, it’s part of being human, and it won’t last as long as you might think. Life goes on, and you’ll find a new path in the woods that will lead to even greater things than before… Just keep going and just “be”.
Listen to me when you feel lost:
Unclear
by Kodaline
If you are in love
Being in love is like feeling the sunshine hit your face on a summer day or like putting on your favorite sweater. I’m really happy for you, being in love is an exciting feeling. It is also terrifying and challenging. Being in love is such a mixed bag of emotions. Whether you’re in love with someone else, yourself, a family member, or a pet… the emotions you feel will always feel bigger than life itself. One day all you will do is smile and laugh and hug and feel like colours of the world are brighter. The next day, the same thing/person you love so much could bring you to tears and cause your heart to ache. It is such a wide spectrum of emotions. Just know that we have all of these emotions for a reason and it is a beautiful thing to be able to experience all of them.
If you are in love, enjoy it. Enjoy all of it because love is healing. Love is learning and growing. Love is always changing and most of all it is magical. Not everyone gets to experience true magic, so just enjoy it, all of it. And know that you are loved as deeply, as fondly, and as wildly as you love them.
Listen to me when you feel love:
Accidentally In Love
by Counting Crows
If you are heartbroken
Know that I write this coming from a place of empathy, not of pity… because heartbreak is a pain I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Feeling heartbroken is a pain we feel to the core. It feels like grief, you’re grieving what was and what could have been all at the same time. So treat it like grief, because if your heart is broken, I’m guessing you’ve lost something/someone really important to you. I’m sorry that you’re going through this, and I’m here for you.
Please, be patient with yourself and your feelings. Allow yourself to feel everything that you need to feel to heal those parts of yourself. There is no time limit.
Just feel it. Cry, cry hard. And if tomorrow you need to cry some more, then do it, because it’s okay. Be angry, scream with the song on full blast in the car so it might drown out the noise of everything else in the world… then play it again.
Let people in, don’t push them away. This is a hard one. These people are only here to help, to hold you and tell you it’s all going to be okay or to show you that you still have so much love in your life to be grateful for.
The hardest part about feeling heartbroken is that only time will heal it. And, if I’m being honest, I’m not sure if it ever fully heals. I remember I had a teacher who once referred to people as glass vases when we are born.. so perfect and untouched. But, as life goes on, we get fingerprints, cracks, and chips from the people that come into our lives. Sometimes a heartbreak can feel like a crack, it might never go away, but it doesn’t shatter us, we are still whole.
I’m sorry that you have to feel this and I hope that you heal from it all soon. Just know that you are strong and capable and beautiful and that this too shall pass. Just give it time, and give yourself time to grieve. You are amazing, you are loved, and it is all going to be okay.
Listen to me when you feel heartbroken:
The Corner
by Dermot Kennedy
If you feel lonely
Hmm… loneliness… this is a big feeling. I think loneliness is one of the hardest feelings to talk about because when you feel lonely, you feel like no one else could possibly understand exactly how you’re feeling. And, honestly, you’re probably right. Maybe you’re feeling lonely because you miss someone, maybe you’re feeling lonely because you’re far away from home, or maybe you’re feeling lonely because you feel like no one sees you… whatever the reason, I’m sorry that you’re feeling this way and I know it isn’t easy. First, let me start by saying, I know it doesn’t help for people to tell you “you’re not alone”.. (like yeah no shit, I know I’m not alone, but that doesn’t mean I’m not still lonely). You still feel like something is missing, or maybe someone. I hope you know that it is okay to want someone or something. It is okay to feel lonely and to be frustrated that what you want or need isn’t there with you right now. It isn’t easy.
A part of being lonely is learning to be comfortable with the unknown. And trusting that what’s meant for you is with you or will come to you.
You could be surrounded by a group of friends and family and still feel lonely. Same as you can be alone on a beach and feel completely fulfilled. Just know that out of the 7.8 billion people in the world, you aren’t the only one that feels lonely. It is a normal feeling, is what I’m trying to say. So stop being so hard on yourself for feeling it. You can enjoy the present and be grateful for what you have later today or tomorrow, but if you feel lonely right now, that is OKAY.
Remember when you feel lonely that you are someone worth loving and that you are special to the people in your life. If you feel lonely, reach out to those people, they miss you as much as you miss them.
So, be patient with yourself, love yourself a little extra on days like these, and just know that it’s all going to work out. Go clear your mind, do something for yourself, find something to bring a smile to your face, and remember that life is long, this is just one day of MANY days.
You have a lot more days coming when you will feel whole again.
Listen to me when you feel lonely:
Howling
by Noah Kahan
If you feel tired
Don’t we all? Man oh man, this world is made to make us exhausted. Everything is running at a million miles a minute. I don’t blame you for being tired.
Do you know what the best thing to do when you’re tired is?
Rest.
You can’t give anyone 100% of yourself if you aren’t giving yourself the time to recharge and restore who you are. So take a day, an afternoon, an hour and just rest. Watch an episode of your show, go for a walk, draw, dance, sleep, exercise, play guitar or piano or kazoo whatever makes you happy, and recharge yourself.
And most of all, DON'T FEEL GUILTY for doing it. I hereby free you of all guilt for taking time for yourself.
Set the boundaries (I know, it’s hard) take the space, and for a moment just let yourself rest. You will thank yourself for it later and the people in your life will thank you too. And make a habit of it, resting, I mean. You aren’t lazy for resting. You aren’t boring for wanting to just chill. The human body isn’t made for the world we live in, it isn’t designed to run at a million miles a minute. So listen to what your body is telling you and just take a moment for yourself. You deserve it.
Listen to me when you feel tired:
Old Pine
By Ben Howard
If you need encouragement
Hey YOU, Yeah YOU! You are AMAZING! Has anyone told you that lately? Well, you are! You are a freaking beautiful soul and you are CRUSHING IT. Hey now, don’t deny it! You are an incredible human being. You make people smile and laugh and the people in your life love you more than you will ever know. Also, you have never looked better, I mean you are glowing, look at you! God, you just bring such a radiant energy with you, it is contagious. I just know that you are going to do great things in this world. I know that maybe your dreams seem out of reach or too difficult to achieve, but listen to me when I say - they are NOT. You can do ANYTHING with your life, ANYTHING. Life is long and chaotic and beautiful and you have the power to do whatever you want with it. So make a plan, set the goals, and you will achieve them.
You are important, you are enough, you matter- don’t ever forget that (read that again)
Listen to me when you need encouragement:
Dog Days Are Over
by Florence + the Machine
If you feel like you’re failing
You’re not. And I would like to officially start a petition to eliminate the word fail from the English language. What a destructive word “failing”. Feeling like a failure is feeling like you aren’t enough or like you didn’t try or like it was all for nothing. And that IS NOT TRUE. I’m going to let you in on a secret… there actually is no such thing as failing.
You are not failing.
You are not failing at life, you are not failing at love, you are not failing at friendship. Failure is this concept that the world has created to keep us down, it is toxic and disheartening.
Maybe you didn’t get the grade you wanted, maybe you didn’t pass the test at all… that doesn’t mean you failed. It might mean you didn’t reach your fullest potential. It might mean you’re one step closer to achieving your goal. Our brain is a funny thing, it likes to talk down to us. It’s easier when we feel sad to see the glass half empty… but our brain has every opportunity in those moments to see that same glass as half full. I know it feels like you’re failing. Maybe you feel like you’re failing as a parent, or as a friend… maybe you feel like you’re failing in your relationship or at work… the first thing you need to do is stop using the word failure. Just throw it away. The next thing you need to do is tell yourself, you’re doing a good job. Find one thing today and tell yourself, “Hey, I’m really proud of you for ________.” And what if you didn’t get the job, you didn’t make the team, or didn’t bring your best self forward… it’s okay, you can try again tomorrow. And the next day, and the next day.
The most important thing to remember when you feel like you’re “failing” is to continue to try. I once had a friend tell me, “what if you knew that you only had to fail six more times before you achieved your goal? Nobody wants to fail, but you would want to fail those six times because it meant success in the end.” So try. Keep trying. It’s cliche but when you get knocked down, get back up because you can’t succeed if you don’t try.
So, no, you’re not a failure… you’re human. And that means that sometimes we have setbacks, and sometimes we need to work a little harder to get through the tough times. But if you just keep moving forward, just really trying, you might find that those “failures” were the foundation of your growth.
Listen to me when you feel like you’re failing:
You’ve Got Your Whole Life Ahead of You Baby
by IDER
If you feel happy
YAYYYY! Happiness, gratitude, sunshine, all of it! Oh my god, I love this for you. I love this vibe, I love this wavelength, and I just love that you are in this state. Relish in it. Remember it, journal it, photograph it, and be in the moment with it because this is a core feeling. Happiness is sunlight and laughter, safety and love in a jar (mixed together with energy and music). God, I hope that this feeling lasts for you and that you find it in your everyday life. Happiness is all around us and I am so so soooo happy that you’re living it right now.
Woo HOO! Yes! Stay smiling ;)
Listen to me when you feel happy:
Soak Up the Sun
by Sheryl Crow
If you need a reason to SMILE
here are a couple that come to mind …
When you step into a warm shower
Eating your favourite meal
When you hug someone
When it is snowing and it feels like a movie because it’s slow and beautiful
A beautiful sunset
When a stranger gives you a compliment
Dancing to your favourite song
Trying something new for the first time
Seeing a friend you haven’t seen in so long
Singing to the radio in the car with your windows down on a summer day
Seeing a puppy— all fluffy and playful
Laughing with your favourite co-workers
Having a movie night with people you love
Taking a trip (and all the traveling goes smoothly)
Trying a new recipe and it tastes delicious
Seeing something that reminds you of when you were a kid
Looking through old photo albums
Your cup of coffee or tea in the morning and how it gives you life
Snuggling into familiar arms
When you find the perfect outfit to wear and you feel good wearing it
Telling someone you love them
Someone telling you they love you
Checking off something on your to-do list
Staying within your budget (lol..)
When you walk into a clean house
Having a happy conversation with a stranger
Feeling the sunshine on your face in the summer
Finishing a really good book
Opening a gift that someone got you
Getting something in the mail
The smell of a bonfire at the beach
Being cozy when it is raining
Getting your haircut
When the warm days start coming in spring
Listening to your favorite music
When you see a shooting star
Going out for dinner with friends
Hiking outside
Handing in an assignment on time
Winning at cards
Having someone you can count on
Free samples
Going to therapy
Feeling the sand between your toes
Hearing children giggle - and kids in snow suits (they’re adorable)
When someone tells you you’re doing a good job ( you are, doing a good job)
Reaching a milestone
When your favourite snack is on sale
Laying in your bed after a long day
When you smile- because it makes me smile too.
