My Ah Ha Moment

Everyone talks about that moment in your life when everything changed. When you realized something you never had before or you found what you were looking for.

They call it an “Ah-Ha moment”.

I’m 21 years young and I’m not 100% sure if I can distinctly point out the exact moment that I knew things would be different or better, but I know that this was the closest I’ve come to one of those moments. If someone asked me what my “Ah Ha moment” was- this would be the story I’d tell…

When I was 14 years old, I was the happiest I’d ever been. I was finishing up my first year of high school- which in the beginning, I thought was going to be the worst year of my life. I had three best friends- like the most amazing best friends. The four of us worked so well together, everything between us was easy and fun and we were inseparable. My birthday was coming up- life was good!

 As fate would have it, a very skinny older man and his wife came into our homeroom class to give us a pitch about a program that our school was involved in. It was an exchange program that would allow any student to travel abroad for a semester to be matched with and live with and exchange family and dive head first into another culture.

 I could live in France? I could LIVE in FRANCE!

I had never been so excited to come home to talk to my mom! (I say mom instead of parents because moms always say yes). Now let me tell you, I’d never spent more than 10 days away from home and that was at summer camp and even then I sent letters home begging my mom to pick me up- so this trip was like going from 0 to 100 for me.

I got home and my mom was sitting in her office and I told her about the people that came to talk to our class that day and about the exchange and I said, “I really want to do this. I want to go and live in France”.

My mom laughed at first and reminded me of my lack of independence skills and then I told her that I was serious.

 After a week of nagging, both my parents said yes!

Not only that, but I convinced my three best friends to do the exchange too, so all four of us would be leaving for France the next year!

My exchange partner’s name was Ella

she arrived in August in Ottawa and we were all crazy excited! The language barrier was shaky at first but by the end of first semester her English was almost as good as mine – almost.

Having her in Canada was fun, mostly because I’d never had a sister before and she was pretty close to what it was like to have one. We became friends instantly, she was easy going, artistic, adventurous and funny- it was a great match. Even now after 5 years, we are still great friends, I’ve visited her twice since then and she has visited me once, but we stay in touch. Out of the 8 people in my high school that year that took part in the exchange, Ella and I are the only ones that are still friends and I consider her family- seriously I call her mom my French mom.

Don’t mind my Hunger Games Shirt…

When it was finally my turn to go to France I was terrified. I was scared I wouldn’t be able to see it through or something would go wrong. Not to mention my fear of airplanes and I would be on an eight hour flight without my family. I was starting to wonder how Ella did it, at least I knew her, she came over seas meeting complete strangers.

My parents drove me to the Ottawa airport on February 7th of 2014 and we said our goodbyes. I didn’t tell them, but I cried the whole plane ride to Toronto. Once in Toronto I let my pity party end and started to get excited with everyone else that was going to Paris!

Once we landed in Paris, we had to go our separate ways- luckily for me, another girl named Sydney was living in the same town as me. We were both off on a train the next day to Poitiers. Little did we know on that train ride that in four months we’d be returning as best friends.

Me and the other Exchange Students from Canada, 2014.

My first week in Poitiers was overwhelming to say the least. I had to adjust to the time zone, learn a new accent (Quebecois and Parisian French are VERY different), learn how to fall asleep in a new place, make friends, find food (I was also a REALLY picky eater at that time and essentially lived off pasta, milk, pizza and apples), and go to school. After the first week, of being in France and getting through the craziness of it all, my grandfather passed away.

It was something that was excepted but I had hoped wouldn’t have happened until I was home again. It killed me to not be able to be there for my dad, but it was too much to fly me back to Ottawa after just arriving. So, I stayed in Poitiers.

I remember that weekend was the first weekend I started feeling sick- I didn’t know this at the time but I’m allergic to gluten, which is pretty much all French people eat, so by one week of the richest, most savory gluten I’ve ever had, my body hated me.

From that week on I went from eating for a day or two to not eating at all for a day or two and then lying in bed with nausea, stomach pain, headaches, fatigue. I thought I was dying- obviously, I wasn’t.

As the months went on, Sydney and I became inseparable. I missed my best friends but they were having their own adventures and Sydney and I were experiencing everything together and it brought us closer.

Our iconic photo

We had every class together, we’d hang out after school together, we’d go shopping together, get tea together- everything.

I hit the jackpot with my host family. They were so kind and caring and they made sure that I was taken care of, which made me feel loved when I missed home.

They took me to see as much as they could! We travelled around France, Spain and Amsterdam! The coolest place I’d been prior to there was Hawaii, this exchange sparked a travel bug in me that I still haven’t been able to shake.

I got to see my friends while I was in France too, I met up with them in Paris and in Nantes and having a piece of home with me for a few days, always left me feeling better and gave me the motivation to stay.

When the end of the exchange came, I was sad to leave. I didn’t know if I’d be able to see Ella or my new family again. I didn’t know if Sydney and I would keep in touch. I would miss the food and the friends I had made and the lifestyle I had adopted. But I was ready to see my family again.

When we landed in Toronto after what I thought were the longest four months of my life, I had to say goodbye to Sydney. She had become my best friend in the shortest amount of time. She was my person and my savior and I didn’t know how to go back to living my life without seeing her every day. I became best friends with someone that lived so far away. Our goodbye in the airport was sappy and we cried a lot- I always think about what her family must have thought of me. After hearing about me for months while we were in France and their first impression of me was this freak with mascara running down her face sobbing into their daughter’s shoulder.

When I landed in Ottawa, and I took the infamous escalator down to collect my baggage, I saw my entire family waiting for me. The second my feet stepped off and I got to my mom I was a complete wreck. I just balled my eyes out, 50% because I missed Sydney already, 30% because I was so sick for so long in France and I was so happy to be home and be able to fully explain my pain and hopefully get help and 20% because I missed my family!

After the exchange, things were different. I always knew that they would be, but it was hard to watch the things from before slipping away. My three best friends and I drifted apart, and for the rest of high school things were never the same-which was the hardest part. I made new friends and after all these years, we’ve mended things and now I’m best friends with them again, individually- not all together.

Sydney and I are still best friends. We’ve kept in touch all of these years. We’ve had our fights and obstacles, but we’ve been there for each other through everything, and we have the best stories to prove it. We’re best friends, that met in France (that one always throws people off). I’m really lucky that I have her.

Sydney & I- Canada Day 2019

I also got another family out of the exchange, one that I’ve been lucky enough to stay in touch with and get to fly over and visit when I can afford to.

The first month or so home after France, I was really focused on the negatives about the experience. But as the months and years passed, I realized all the things I achieved and gained from doing the exchange and it put everything into perspective.

France was my Ah Ha moment. It changed everything for me. It opened my eyes to the world and to cultures I’d never experienced before. It taught me independence and courage. It taught me how to see things through to the end and to persist. I found my passion for travelling and exploring.  I learned how to be a good friend and about the importance of surrounding yourself with people that bring out the best in you. I came back a changed person, along with everyone else.

The exchange was my first real experience with seeking discomfort and pushing my limits and the memories and experiences that I’ve gained because of that are immeasurable.

I’ve been taking chances ever since, always ready to embrace the opportunities that life has to offer.